The most common question I am seeing right now about Fifty Shades of Grey is, “Why is it so popular? By her own admission, E. L. James took the Twilight saga and altered it to create Fifty Shades of Grey. Ms. James (pseudonym for Ericka Leonard) also admits that she does not consider herself a world-class author.
So – what is it that has made this book a world-class best seller?
It’s the story and the learnings!!
There are tons of things (not just the sex or the BDSM) that make Fifty Shades of Grey irresistible to millions and millions of people. These are the secrets of what draws us to the books and keeps us reading, even when we know it will not be a good thing to drag through the day tomorrow.
Secret Number One – How Men and Women Think
Both Ana and Christian spend allot of time figuring out what the other “actually means”. This is a theme that transcends the book and figures in or everyday lives. Shoot, most romantic comedies revolve around couples who are falling in love and misunderstanding each other.
Christian spends a lot of energy not telling Ana about his background, because he fears that she will not understand.
When he does, a bit at a time, she does not understand and spends tons of time analyzing what he said.
Interesting enough, it is Ana’s mother who clarifies the issue for her and for us.
“Men aren’t really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they’ve said, when really it’s obvious. If I were you, I’d take him literally. That might help.”
James, E L (2011-05-25). Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (p. 289). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Because women tend to not trust what men say, they put their men through enumerable “tests” to see if they actually mean what they are saying.
The problem then is that they may never believe them. It took me over 10 years to convince my wonderful wife that she was beautiful. Any time I would pay her a genuine compliment, she would list all of the things that were wrong in order to prove that I was not correct.
And don’t tell me that some variation if this is not happening in your relationship!
Ladies, my strong suggestion is the same as Ana’s mom:
“Ana, honey, you’ve always had a tendency to overanalyze everything. Go with your gut. What does that tell you, sweetheart?”
James, E L (2011-05-25). Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy (p. 306). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Not every guy is as patient and Christian and me.
Ladies – tell me about your relationship from this perspective. Am I wrong here?